You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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