it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
