Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
