how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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