So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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