: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
