Plan B is the new Plan A
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I got inside last night via doggy door
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
