You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
