I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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