my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
