no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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