Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
