were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
