I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
