I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
two words: eviction party
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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