is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
