He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
