You can't special order awesome
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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