Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
