I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
