Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
