I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
