Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
