fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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