ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
