The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
