well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
