i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
