Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
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