I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
