Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
