and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
