the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
