Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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