Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
me + whiskey = a bad person
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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