wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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