so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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