I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
