Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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