Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
