I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
