WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My vagina just clenched in fear
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
