Having a random hookup so left but love u
its not stalking. its research.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
