I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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