Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
the liver wants what the liver wants
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
