how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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