Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
