Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
