I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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