Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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